Human Design: Feeling Powerless as a Manifestor
Hello readers,
As you may know, I am a Manifestor. If you don't know what that means, check out this link on Manifestors. Now, I assume most of you do know what a manifestor is, as you've stumbled upon my blog. And if this is correct, perhaps you are also feeling a bit powerless as a Manifestor.
First, let's have a look at my chart:
As you can see, I have the root centre (bottom brown), the solar plexus centre (right brown), and throat centre defined in my chart. One would think that, as a Manifestor with a throat centre connected directly to my solar plexus, the most powerful authority centre, I'd have no problem voicing my feelings and being heard by others. This, however, couldn't be further from the truth.
I struggle to be heard. I often feel like a projector who needs to be invited to speak or else no heads turn my way in a group. I can't initiate because no one wants to listen to me in the first place. I have tried recording my voice to make myself more persuasive and assertive. I have tried smiling and showing interest in what others have to say in the hopes that they do the same for me, but the truth is, it is positively exhausting. It feels like I'm actually less likely to be heard than the next person.
Why is this? Isn't the throat centre being defined indicative of having some sort of ability to be heard?While having a defined throat centre indicates one can express their thoughts and ideas consistently, this does not translate into others being receptive to those thoughts. I do know that if I get emotional and speak people listen to me and feel extremely intimidated, but is my solar plexus-throat centre relationship the only way in which I, as a Manifestor can be heard?
When I am in a group, I often give up trying to voice my thoughts and allow the Manifesting Generators to spar at one another. I've learnt early on in my Human Design discovery that a Manifestor cannot compete with a Manifesting Generator who wants to be a Manifestor. Their energy is relentless. I see great power in the Manifesting Generators, but I also see that power being misused in attempts to take control of conversations and participants in those conversations. My energy is not consistent enough to be able to even try to get a voice in, even when I have something complete to say. Even when I am trying to speak from my Manifesting potential.
I recently read that 72% of the population has a defined throat centre. That's a large percentage of people, so it really is no wonder that I struggle to have a voice. Look at my chart again, for instance. I have a single gate in my throat centre defined. Gate 35. I am limited to verbally expressing myself consistently through just the connection between Gate 35 and Gate 36, which is in my Solar Plexus. After studying many friends' charts, I've come to see that the more gates one has defined in their throat centre, the more extroverted one is. Perhaps this is not true of all people, but I have noticed that those with very few of the 11 numbers in the throat centre defined tend to be more introverted. Maybe, some of us struggle to get our words out because we are in the 18% who lack defined throat centres. Or maybe, some of us are like me: possessing a defined Throat centre, but lacking the fixed gates, channels, and energising Sacral centre to explore numerous ways in which to communicate. Maybe, I have it all wrong.
After all, we know that having a channel in one's chart turns those centres into something new and unique. Surely, my connection from my Throat to my Solar Plexus isn't the only active contribution towards my ability to communicate. Surely, the fact that I am a "Single Definition" Manifestor also plays a part. I will explain:
If a chart were a Double or Triple Definition, you would be unable to play connect-the-dots with the defined centres. Instead, there would be gaps between the connecting channels. But, since my Root centre connects to my Solar Plexus centre, which in turn connects to my Throat centre, there may be a larger possibility for expressing myself. My Root centre has many gates fixed within it. This relationship between gates 19 and 49 (in my Solar Plexus) allows me to channel that energy up into my Throat centre. Sadly, it is not evident to me what this means for my design, as little to no research exists on this matter.
As you can see, trying to understand one's Human Design is a tricky task. I am curious to know if there are other Manifestors out there who feel like they can't initiate because others are so caught up in their Not-Selves that they run their defined Throat centres to death. I know that Generators and Manifesting Generators are their Not-Selves when they are frustrated, and I also recognise this frustration to the smallest degree when I find myself in these situations where I can't get a word in.
I would love to be able to inform as the Manifestor that I am, but I feel I am rarely given the chance to do so. Perhaps it's all a matter of finding the right space to express myself, which is why I have come to the internet to express myself. Perhaps it is because the Solar Plexus is an intense and oftentimes serious centre, limiting my opportunities for informing and initiating. Perhaps there is something I am missing- something I'm just not doing right.
I know I am full of possibilities. We all are. But Manifestors need to be able to manifest their possibilities when they feel an energetic spell, and it makes us feel angry and powerless when, even though we have informed, no one wants to listen. Surely this is not the way it's meant to be? If Human Design is an authentic method in which to approach one's unique capabilities, surely following it should yield positive results?
Of course, I am full of doubt. It's my 1/3 profile. It's my Right Angel Cross of Consciousness: 63/64 and 5/35. I recognise this and find great self-growth in this part of myself, but for the life of me I cannot figure out when I am unable to manifest! I feel the energy coming at me like a wave. It shakes me in its power. Yet I call out only to be met with steely silence; lack of enthusiasm; a rejection of all that I have to offer. I am not mad, thankfully, so I know I am not my Not-Self, but I am perplexed and disheartened.
I hope writing this out brings some introspection and insight into a growing conundrum within me, and possibly others.
As you may know, I am a Manifestor. If you don't know what that means, check out this link on Manifestors. Now, I assume most of you do know what a manifestor is, as you've stumbled upon my blog. And if this is correct, perhaps you are also feeling a bit powerless as a Manifestor.
First, let's have a look at my chart:
 |
| My Unique Human Design |
I struggle to be heard. I often feel like a projector who needs to be invited to speak or else no heads turn my way in a group. I can't initiate because no one wants to listen to me in the first place. I have tried recording my voice to make myself more persuasive and assertive. I have tried smiling and showing interest in what others have to say in the hopes that they do the same for me, but the truth is, it is positively exhausting. It feels like I'm actually less likely to be heard than the next person.
Why is this? Isn't the throat centre being defined indicative of having some sort of ability to be heard?While having a defined throat centre indicates one can express their thoughts and ideas consistently, this does not translate into others being receptive to those thoughts. I do know that if I get emotional and speak people listen to me and feel extremely intimidated, but is my solar plexus-throat centre relationship the only way in which I, as a Manifestor can be heard?
When I am in a group, I often give up trying to voice my thoughts and allow the Manifesting Generators to spar at one another. I've learnt early on in my Human Design discovery that a Manifestor cannot compete with a Manifesting Generator who wants to be a Manifestor. Their energy is relentless. I see great power in the Manifesting Generators, but I also see that power being misused in attempts to take control of conversations and participants in those conversations. My energy is not consistent enough to be able to even try to get a voice in, even when I have something complete to say. Even when I am trying to speak from my Manifesting potential.
I recently read that 72% of the population has a defined throat centre. That's a large percentage of people, so it really is no wonder that I struggle to have a voice. Look at my chart again, for instance. I have a single gate in my throat centre defined. Gate 35. I am limited to verbally expressing myself consistently through just the connection between Gate 35 and Gate 36, which is in my Solar Plexus. After studying many friends' charts, I've come to see that the more gates one has defined in their throat centre, the more extroverted one is. Perhaps this is not true of all people, but I have noticed that those with very few of the 11 numbers in the throat centre defined tend to be more introverted. Maybe, some of us struggle to get our words out because we are in the 18% who lack defined throat centres. Or maybe, some of us are like me: possessing a defined Throat centre, but lacking the fixed gates, channels, and energising Sacral centre to explore numerous ways in which to communicate. Maybe, I have it all wrong.
After all, we know that having a channel in one's chart turns those centres into something new and unique. Surely, my connection from my Throat to my Solar Plexus isn't the only active contribution towards my ability to communicate. Surely, the fact that I am a "Single Definition" Manifestor also plays a part. I will explain:
If a chart were a Double or Triple Definition, you would be unable to play connect-the-dots with the defined centres. Instead, there would be gaps between the connecting channels. But, since my Root centre connects to my Solar Plexus centre, which in turn connects to my Throat centre, there may be a larger possibility for expressing myself. My Root centre has many gates fixed within it. This relationship between gates 19 and 49 (in my Solar Plexus) allows me to channel that energy up into my Throat centre. Sadly, it is not evident to me what this means for my design, as little to no research exists on this matter.
As you can see, trying to understand one's Human Design is a tricky task. I am curious to know if there are other Manifestors out there who feel like they can't initiate because others are so caught up in their Not-Selves that they run their defined Throat centres to death. I know that Generators and Manifesting Generators are their Not-Selves when they are frustrated, and I also recognise this frustration to the smallest degree when I find myself in these situations where I can't get a word in.
I would love to be able to inform as the Manifestor that I am, but I feel I am rarely given the chance to do so. Perhaps it's all a matter of finding the right space to express myself, which is why I have come to the internet to express myself. Perhaps it is because the Solar Plexus is an intense and oftentimes serious centre, limiting my opportunities for informing and initiating. Perhaps there is something I am missing- something I'm just not doing right.
I know I am full of possibilities. We all are. But Manifestors need to be able to manifest their possibilities when they feel an energetic spell, and it makes us feel angry and powerless when, even though we have informed, no one wants to listen. Surely this is not the way it's meant to be? If Human Design is an authentic method in which to approach one's unique capabilities, surely following it should yield positive results?
Of course, I am full of doubt. It's my 1/3 profile. It's my Right Angel Cross of Consciousness: 63/64 and 5/35. I recognise this and find great self-growth in this part of myself, but for the life of me I cannot figure out when I am unable to manifest! I feel the energy coming at me like a wave. It shakes me in its power. Yet I call out only to be met with steely silence; lack of enthusiasm; a rejection of all that I have to offer. I am not mad, thankfully, so I know I am not my Not-Self, but I am perplexed and disheartened.
I hope writing this out brings some introspection and insight into a growing conundrum within me, and possibly others.
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